My Christine Caine devotional hit home this morning. I really understood what she was talking about... and wondered if someone else could relate.
Have you ever had something happen in your life that deeply hurt you? Most of us have. Parents leaving or divorcing when we are kids, going through a divorce that we never thought would happen, having a miscarriage (or miscarriages), being physically abused, or worse sexually abused... I could list a number of things. These type things leave serious wounds in our hearts and lives.
God wants to heal us.
First of all, let me tell you up front.. God did not cause that bad thing to happen to you. There was a time in my life that I believed He did. God is a loving Father. What loving Father would say, "Ok, Jill, I'm going to take these babies from you to teach you a lesson and bring you back to me?"
What happens is, we live in a fallen sinful world with diseases. I have one that caused my miscarriages... and the God who loves me unconditionally touched my heart during the second one, and turned it around for my good.
What else happens is, people get selfish and leave. Some hurt others because they are sick/ evil.
Christine Caine was sexually abused growing up. Later, she found out she was adopted and that really shook her because everything she had believed her entire life turned out to be a lie.
Those are hard things to heal from. Healing is a process. We tend to want everything right now. God doesn't always work that way.
Caine said this, "I wanted to see results so much faster than I did during long seasons when I thought I was making no headway at all. As I look back, I now realize that those times were when God was doing His deepest work in me. I could not yet see the fruit because He was still cultivating the soil of my heart and planting new seeds that would take time to sprout."
That old saying "Time heals all wounds." is not really true at all. God heals all wounds... but sometimes it's a process.
I know for me, I have been in a process for a while now. If I would have done this first, right after my now ex husband left, I would probably be experiencing something different. That's my fault. God has been here all along. I am now allowing God to work, grow, and heal me.
I will end with one of the prayers from The Battle Plan for Prayer book:
"Lord, I know I'm in skillful hands as I pray for You to show me Your will and lead me faithfully into it. I accept from Your specific guidance through Your Word to give me "a lamp unto my feet and a light to my path" (Psalm 119:105) for this moment. Thank You for being heaven and earth beyond me in size and score (Isaiah 55:8-9), yet somehow stooping down to involve Yourself in my details. Tune my heart to the desires of our heart. Align my mind with Your thoughts. Guide my path to the center of Your plans. And help me pray and live in accordance with Your will. I love You, and I will follow You. In Jesus name, amen."
Let Him heal in His timing. Walk with Him daily. And for goodness sake, let Him love on you. Stop pushing it away. He loves you so much.
God bless you today and always.