Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Two Years Ago....

In what feels like a life far far away....

On this date two years ago, I went to the bank to open my own checking account. It was a journey I never dreamed I would be on. 

My now ex husband was moving out and we were getting our "affairs in order", for the lack of a better term.

It is also his mom's birthday. She passed away from ovarian cancer several years ago now. She was fun, loving, and a great cook! She was always laughing. I wish she was still here to see how her grandchildren have grown.

I look back and I am totally amazed at what God has done in my life.

Two years ago, I was a scared woman who didn't know what I was going to do. I hadn't worked in a few years because I felt God call me to home school my children.  I didn't want to go to work. I wanted to do what I knew God called me to do. 

Our marriage had been struggling for years. But I was faithful and wanted to do the right thing. This forced me WAY out of my comfort zone.

All I could do was rely on God.

I had my family and friends. And Lord knows I am thankful for them. I still am.

But God is who really got me through it. I had/have to trust God with every single piece of my life. I can't do this on my own.

Emotionally, I had already dealt with my ex not loving me anymore. He started with things in August of 2012, but didn't leave until March 2013. Those months were awful and stressful for me. My tattoo brought me comfort. That one thing that some said would be a stumbling block for others, actually helped me. It says, "Jesus Love You". I would look at it and think, "Yes He does. Even if my husband doesn't." 

When he finally left, that started a whole new journey. Now, I was a single mom.

Budgets and numbers give me headaches. I have struggled financially at times because of that. But God.... oh but God... He brought me a friend at church, who sat down with me for 3 hours and worked on a budget. What a blessing that was!

My job was a gift STRAIGHT from God! I searched for months before I heard about it. I love my job so much. I feel like I get to use my talents and skills for His glory every day. Not to mention that it provides me the money I need to make it.

Starting over in the dating world at my age has proven to be a challenge. I have dated. I have made mistakes too. I'm not going to lie about that. I'm far from perfect. However, I have hope that God has someone planned for me.

I wish I could tell you the things God has saved me from. There are just so many things. He has walked with me, held my hand, and helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life.

Rejection and fear have had me crippled at times. 

Thankfully, perfect love casts out fear. Love covers a multitude of sin. Love is patient, kind, keeps no record of wrongs, never fails, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres! God is love. And without God I would not be writing this right now.

I hope whatever you are going through, that you will take my advice. Trust God through it. He is right there. He loves you so much. I will be glad to pray for you if you need it. Or encourage you. Just write me and let me know.

There is a band my son and I like. They have a little screaming, so it might not be your taste, but their song, "I Survive" is my jam. You are welcome to listen here...  We Came As Romans, I Survive I have survived these past two years. I know without a doubt that I will be fine. You will too!!!

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