Monday, December 1, 2014

My Broken Heart and Things

My broken quilt rack
Many years ago, before we ever had kids, my ex husband made me this quilt rack. He was surprising me for Christmas, I believe, and had been going to his parents a lot to hand make this.

Now, over 20 years later, it's broken. My marriage was broken. My dishwasher, ice maker and Christmas tree lights are all broken too. 

The 80's song by Mister Mister came to mind as I was thinking about these broken things,
"Take these broken wings, and learn to fly again, learn to live so free."

I have done my best since the divorce. Sometimes, it's not good enough, or the wrong approach. Nevertheless, I have tried.

My heart is broken this morning because I sent my son to stay with his dad. I only told one person last night. He has had a terrible attitude and treats me, his brother and his sister like dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Life revolves around him and what he wants. That's all. I couldn't take it anymore.

Honestly, I don't think I tried hard enough. I did not force counseling. I did not force church attendance. I did pray and I talk to him til I was blue in the face, and I tried to set an example. I have battled this for two years. Nothing has gotten better. It's only gotten worse.

Thankfully, God is the healer of the broken hearted. He also said in 
Proverbs 22: 6, "Start off a child in the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."

I do believe that verse is true. As I said yesterday, I was out of church from the age of 15 until I was 23. So, I pray that my son will turn back to God. I pray that he will see how much I love him and that I want what's best for him.

I believe that God protects us and helps us through life's junk. 
I also believe whole heartedly, that God will take my broken wings, and teach me to fly again. Actually, I think He has been doing that all along. I'm living free and learning so many lessons. That's really all we can do, live and learn, right?

What's on your heart today? That's what's on mine. 

No comments:

Post a Comment