Thursday, May 19, 2016

One Of My Struggles

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need." Luke 12:31
This needs to be my life verse! One of my struggles
I am about to be totally open and honest with you all about something and I pray that it helps someone else. I learn from other people's mistakes, it's my prayer that you learn from mine.
Confession: I am not good with money.
I never have been. Even when I was married. At times, I would be in charge of paying the bills and things would get off track.
On my own these past three years, I have had numerous times where I ran into trouble and got in a hole.
This past week was one of them. But something changed.
Last year, I went to a lady at church, who has now become a close friend, for help with my budget. I was behind on bills, stressed out and afraid I would need to take on a second job. She spent 3 hours walking me through everything and figuring out how to dig out of the hole. 
We did it. (I had a little help from my church too.)
The two things that are consistently causing me problems are: 
1. NOT tithing like I should.
2. Going out to eat too much.
I am a single mom with three teenagers. You know teenagers can eat! At least three nights a week, I'm not home until after 8. So, it's easy to pick up something on the way home. That's stopping. We will get a "treat" of one night a week out.
As for tithing, I do well for a while, then the money gets messed up and I don't feel like I CAN tithe, so I don't. That's so backwards.
I know for a fact that God is faithful when I do what He's called me to do, because this past December... there is NO way I should have paid for and done all I did. It was only by His grace.
This week, my bank account has been in the negative. I mean, WAY negative. And this week, I did something I've never done before.
I repented. I got down on my knees by my bed and I told God how sorry I was for screwing up HIS money. I asked Him to forgive me too.
It's not my money. I have my job only by His grace. I have an ex husband who pays child support only by His grace. It's not anything I've done or can do.
Today in one of my Bible reading lists, one that's called "30 Days of Promises", I read Luke 12:22-34 with the title "Re-prioritize your life" next to it.
YES LORD! I need to get my priorities in order. As I said earlier this week, why would God bless me as a New York Times Best Selling Author if I can't handle the money I have now?
In these Scripture verses in Luke, Jesus is telling people not to worry about having enough food to eat and enough clothes to wear. The key, for me, is the verse I wrote above. SEEKING GOD FIRST! 
That means giving Him my tithe, my first fruits. This is true for money and my talents.
Let me tell you this too, when God works things out, it isn't always like we think. I didn't get a large sum of money in the mail. 
When I repented and asked Him to forgive me, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I then was able to adjust some things, get some breathing room, and when I deposited some money yesterday, realized my account wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Since it's not so I now have grocery money this weekend. He provided!
I have re-worked my budget. And I will be sticking to it strictly from now on. God has blessed me, and who am I to just throw away His blessings?
Hear me out for a minute more, ok? If you have something you struggle with, you know what helps? Telling someone else. It helps your struggle stop having so much power over you. It gives you accountability. Especially if it's someone who has experienced what you are dealing with.
The lady who helped me with my budget was once a single mom with four kids. She can relate.
If you struggle with drugs or alcohol, find someone in recovery from those things for support.
If you have an eating disorder, tell someone, and I bet you'll find someone who has dealt with it too.
I could keep listing things, but I won't. I know you get the idea.
Our struggles are our's, but we can use them to help other people. I think we are CALLED to help other people. 
If you need prayer for something you are struggling with, please contact me. I would love to pray for you.
God bless you today and always.

No comments:

Post a Comment