I'm not in a very good place, emotionally. I am trying to be strong and get through this divorce that I didn't ask for. I'm cooking, cleaning, and educating my kids. I'm trying not to sit around and cry. I do find that I'm distracting myself with things... like facebook.
I must say, he (the soon to be ex) hasn't left me high and dry. I am getting money every week, but it's JUST enough to pay the bills. NO EXTRAS. We were used to extras. A LARGE income walked out my front door.
I'm praying, asking for wisdom and discernment. I'm trying to press into God and trust Him knowing that He will provide for our needs. (Needs, not extras, Jill. Needs.)
I picked up my "Facing Your Giants" book by Max Lucado...I've had it but never read it. I feel like I'm facing several huge giants right now.
I'm also about to trust God fully and start tithing 10%. This is THE SCARIEST thing I've ever done. I'm afraid of taking food out of my children's mouths.(Thank GOD I have a stock pile of food. We just don't have many meats...but we will be fine.) I know God won't let that happen, but that's my first thought. I have a great church family, and I've been told there is money available for needs, like my light bill, if it comes to that. So, I'm trying not to worry. But, still... ya know?
The few things that I know, that I know, that I know. God will NEVER leave me or forsake me. His love never fails. And He will never stop loving me.
I can hear my Pastor saying, "Can I get an amen or a thanks be to God for that?" LOL
My family and friends have been amazing. I'm going to be ok. I'm just not in an ok spot yet.