Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The space in between

I'm not in a very good place, emotionally. I am trying to be strong and get through this divorce that I didn't ask for. I'm cooking, cleaning, and educating my kids. I'm trying not to sit around and cry. I do find that I'm distracting myself with things... like facebook.

I must say, he (the soon to be ex) hasn't left me high and dry. I am getting money every week, but it's JUST enough to pay the bills. NO EXTRAS. We were used to extras. A LARGE income walked out my front door.

I'm praying, asking for wisdom and discernment. I'm trying to press into God and trust Him knowing that He will provide for our needs. (Needs, not extras, Jill. Needs.)

I picked up my "Facing Your Giants" book by Max Lucado...I've had it but never read it. I feel like I'm facing several huge giants right now.

I'm also about to trust God fully and start tithing 10%. This is THE SCARIEST thing I've ever done. I'm afraid of taking food out of my children's mouths.(Thank GOD I have a stock pile of food. We just don't have many meats...but we will be fine.) I know God won't let that happen, but that's my first thought. I have a great church family, and I've been told there is money available for needs, like my light bill, if it comes to that. So, I'm trying not to worry. But, still... ya know?

The few things that I know, that I know, that I know. God will NEVER leave me or forsake me. His love never fails. And He will never stop loving me.

I can hear my Pastor saying, "Can I get an amen or a thanks be to God for that?" LOL

My family and friends have been amazing. I'm going to be ok. I'm just not in an ok spot yet.



  1. Dear Heavenly Father, your word says that nothing takes you by surprise---and we know this does not either. Right now I ask you to give Jill a peace beyond any understanding quickly. I pray that when she feels despair you give her hope, when she feels loneliness surround her with true friends, when she feels confused, give her answers, when she feels like she can't go on, give her so much comfort and an overwhelming sense of your love and arms wrapped around her. Father I pray that you will take what satan means for bad and evil and ruin and turn it into such an awesome testimony and praise to you and your goodness and your power. Father, I pray that through this journey that you now have Jill traveling you will make her stronger, make her kids stronger, and that you will receive all the glory from it. Lord, be with her kids. Life is so hard being a teenager without having to struggle with your parents being divorced, so please grow them in you, send mentors and leaders and so many that care that will help Jill to continue to raise these children knowing you and your grace and mercy. And may they become such mighty men and women for you and grow even closer to you through this. You are in control, you are powerful and so above all that Jill is going through right now, so please give her comfort and peace and reminders often that you will never leave her, never forget her and that she is yours and that means more than anything. We thank you now for even this that she goes through, and we thank you for what you will do in the days ahead. We love you and thank you that we can come to you and not have to worry about how you will provide, but just trust you will. In your name we pray, Amen 1 Cor. 10:13 No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.
    I will be praying Jill in the days ahead, keep your chin up, lean strongly on Him cause He can handle it. But most of all, be the one that examples Jesus in this, and you will be so much stronger and better for it. Angie Estes