I am so thankful for my friends!

I saw this video last night and cried. It was silly of me, but I did.

Mr. G and Jellybean 

Yesterday, two of my best friends said some of the nicest things about me. It just humbles me and warms my heart. I struggle with my self esteem sometimes, but to hear the things they said just moved me. 

Friends are so important in our lives. It does not matter how many you have. One can even be enough. At least with that one you are not totally alone.

I am reminded of King David and Jonathan's friendship in the Bible. They loved each other like brothers. The weird thing about it was that Jonathan should have become the next King. His dad was King Saul. But, he recognized the call God put on David's life and did not care that he was losing the crown. He helped David hide from King Saul. They were like brothers.

Job had his friends come sit with him during the terrible time that he went through. 

We are made for community. We are supposed to be in each other's lives living life together. That's just how God designed us. The new testament church in Acts talks about how they ate together, worshiped together, and helped each other. That's what we are here for.

I hope and pray that you can at least count on one friend in your life. If you are closed off and do not have someone in your life, take a leap of faith... let someone in. You will be glad you did!

Giving hope to people you love

Sometimes people just need to know that they are not alone. 

Hope is a feeling that we all need. We need to know that this season WILL end. We need to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Giving hope to people we care about is a great way to show we care.

Our home town star, Phillip Phillips has a song called "Tell me a story". The chorus is so good to me. 




It says, "Hope is just a ray of what everyone should see 

            Alone is the street where you found me
            Scared of what's behind of you
            Scared of what's in front
            Live with what you have now
            And make the best of what's to come"

Are you giving hope to the people in your life? 

They need you to!

Our church motto is "Love God, Love People." That's what we need to be doing. Life is better in community. We weren't meant to be alone. Give hope and love to someone today. You will be glad you did!

Connecting to your destiny!

This past Sunday, our Youth Pastor taught a great message!  I want to share some of it.

There are times in our lives when we really wonder why we are here. We try to figure out our destiny, our purpose, if you will.

The first way to do that is to realize who you are connected to in life. Your destiny is linked to the people you are connected to.

Take a minute and read that again:

Your destiny is linked to the people you are connected to.

I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason. Even our family. I think God sends down the spirit He wants in a baby and gives it a personality and purpose right from the start. It's my opinion that He gives us the particular DNA from our parents for a reason too. We are also gifted with unique talents and gifts. 

Instead of asking God what our purpose is and trying to figure all of that out, maybe we need to be asking, "Who am I called to do life with?" 

Look around your life, the people you love are a part of your destiny. Let them know you are glad they are there. 

I can tell you one thing for certain. I am VERY thankful for my family and friends. I love my children, my parents, my grandma, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and my friends. I am who I am because of them. 

Memorial Day

Today in the United States, it is Memorial Day. This is a day that we think of and honor our heroes who have died in combat. I have always had a reverence for any military person. That is one job I was not gifted for!

Both of my Grandfather's served during World War 2. My Grandma even has a map framed of where my Grandpa's troop went during their tour of duty. I have many other family members who decided to serve our country in the service. 

When someone chooses to go into the military, that's what it is, a choice. They put their life on the line every day. 

I am reminded of Jesus' choice too. He did not have to go to the cross, He chose to. He gave all to set us free.

The service men and women who have died, did so in order for us to keep our freedom. In the USA, we can still go to church, buy Bibles in a store, and read our Bibles freely. That's not the case in other countries. We have freedoms that we take for granted sometimes.

I would like to thank every military person, past, present and future who reads this. Freedom really isn't free when someone pays for it with their life.

Life is like a puzzle

Yesterday, I had most of the day to myself. I cleaned the house some and decided to start a puzzle. 

Of course, I picked a Snoopy puzzle that I've had a while. It was still brand new. 

Even with it being brand new, I'm pretty sure it is missing some pieces. I like to do the outside edge first, it gives you something to work with. 

I woke up this morning and worked on it a little more and started thinking about how life is like a puzzle.

Some times we are missing edges... like parents who weren't around when you were a child, or parents who were there but as a child you had to raise them. Those "edges" should have been your foundation on what the rest of your life was built on, but because it was missing pieces, things had to shift.

Then, you get to the inside of the puzzle, where you are basically playing match. You need the right colors on the pieces to fit in the right places. Whoever cuts these things is a genius. (I would bet it's a computer.)

Trying to fit the pieces together is like in life when we are looking for the person we are meant to be with. You try several different ones until you find the right one for you. You just fit together.

There is also the task of finding the job to fit your talents and skills. We might go through many jobs until the right one comes around that fits us perfectly. 

Life will never be totally perfect. Just like puzzles aren't. We might be missing pieces, but luckily, God can fill those empty spaces for us.

If you grew up without parents, He will be glad to fill that role for you. If your heart was broken by someone you trusted, He will mend it and bring you the right person to love you and never break your heart. 

God is the master puzzle solver! He knows what pieces best fit us and He will bring those pieces into our lives when the timing is right. 

I know I am probably the only person on earth who would put a puzzle together and start thinking about life and God. I admit it, I'm weird. But, you know what? I'm ok with that.

Heaven is a gated community?!

There are two churches near my house. Sometimes their signs annoy me. Today one has  "Heaven is a gated community" on their sign.

Now, if you are not a Christian, you could take that the wrong way.

My first thought was, "So, I guess I'm not good enough for heaven." 

Gated communities are usually built to keep the bad people out. Right? 

Revelation mentions gates. We've heard about "pearly gates" in heaven and all... but should we make people feel excluded?

I think not.

As Christians, we need to spread love and nothing else. We shouldn't make people feel bad about anything. They do not need us to point out what they are doing wrong. 

I wish people would put themselves in the shoes of a non Christian or a non church going person and think about how their church sign might make someone feel. I'm just sensitive to that I guess. 

Here are a few I actually like!

You are not a failure!

Dictionary.com says that failure is "an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success". 

Why are we so quick to either label ourselves a failure or let someone else label us a failure?

People ARE NOT failures.

My Pastor always says that failure is an event.

So, I sit here this morning, and I could get really down on myself and allow our enemy to hit me with what hasn't gone right in my life. I went to college twice, but never got a degree. I was married for 19 years and it ended in divorce..... need I go on?

But you know what? I tried! I can honestly say that I have not really given up on anything in my life. And just because my life has not turned out like I thought it should, or like someone else thought it should... that does not mean I am a failure.

Thomas Edison who invented the light bulb had many attempts before he found the successful working bulb. I found this online: 

"When Thomas Edison was interviewed by a young reporter who boldly asked Mr. Edison if he felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up by now. Perplexed, Edison replied, "Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp." And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb."


It is all in how you look at life. Realize this my friends: God loves you, and you are not a failure. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you are. Don't even tell yourself that you are, because you are not!

How Do You See God & The Bible?

My son posted this video to his Facebook page and I think it is worth sharing. I have talked many times about how God is not sitting in heaven waiting for us to mess up so He can punish us. And how He can not give us something He does not have. This video makes so much sense! I hope you will take 5 minutes and watch it.

How Do You Read The Bible? by Jefferson Bethke


I think our view of God gets distorted by people who give out false information. People teach religion and not relationship. We need to know who God really is and why we are really here.

I am interested in any comments you have on this topic.

Just be YOU!

Yesterday, I mentioned how we believe what is said about us when we are children. I think that is extremely true. If you heard negative things about yourself, you tend to believe those things. (Especially if they are repeated to you.)

I know for me, I struggled the older I got with believing what people said about me. Instead of looking at who I was and seeing the real Jill, I believed lies about myself. I know it sounds silly, but it's so easy to do! Children are like sponges when they are young. 

They soak up what is said to them and keep it. 

I guess this is going to be about our words again... which isn't really what I planned on writing about. It's true though. What we say to people really matters. 

Lift people up. Do not tear them down. Help them see the real them. Accent their gifts and talents. Tell them they are smart, pretty, good at things, etc. We need to help people become who God meant them to be all along and we can do that with positive words.

With all of that being said... be YOU! Do not live a fake life. Do not pretend to be someone you aren't. God gave you special gifts for a reason. There are not any two people on earth who are exactly the same. Even twins. You are unique, you are loved, and you are the ONLY you!

God loves you and He wants you to live life to the fullest! 

Who are your friends?

I was thinking about how blessed I am to have the friends that I do. Since I am an only child, I have always valued my friendships. 

My Pastor's message yesterday was about how our tongue can help or harm. It was a great message, but the one thing it reminded me of are my friends that lift me up. I need encouraging just like everyone else. I try to be a very encouraging person to the people in my life. I love my friends and family very much.

Jason said in order to have good relationships, we need to listen, be loyal, and and love. 

My friends do this for me. I hope I am a good friend to them in return. 

Who are your friends?

Did you know that Jesus calls us friend?

In John 15: 13-16 Jesus says this, "13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command.15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you."

I don't know about you, but I am so thankful to be called friend by Jesus and the people in my life. 

God is good all the time and He loves us very much!

Was Jesus a push over?

Last night, my Pastor taught us a lesson I had NEVER heard. It actually blew my mind and I can not help but share it.

Some of you might know the Scripture Matthew 5: 38-4, "38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles."

This was Jesus teaching on this subject. Normally, I think we believe He wants us to be push overs and let people control us. Actually, He was teaching the total opposite. 

One thing I enjoy about my Pastor is that he shows us visually and he teaching historically. This really helps me understand the Scripture better. 

During this part of history that Jesus was alive, a person would not slap someone with their left hand. That is the hand they used for restroom activities. So, if you are going to slap someone on their right cheek, you must use the back of your right hand. This action shows dominance and that you are more important than them. Jesus said to turn the other cheek, because if you did, and if they slapped you with the palm of their hand, it meant that you were now equal with them. How about that?

Also, if someone wanted to sue a person for their shirt, and you gave over your coat as well, it shows that the person suing has no control over them. They are giving more than asked for.

Lastly, the Roman soldiers enjoyed bothering the Jewish people. They would make them carry things, like their lunch, or whatever. They would force the Jews to walk a mile, then let them go. Rome only allowed the mile. If a Jewish person walked further, the soldier could get in trouble. Jesus said, walk two miles.... this would be another way to show a soldier that he wasn't controlling them. They could walk further, and possibly get the soldier in trouble. 

Being a Christian does not mean we are supposed to be door mats and say YES to everything. We need boundaries. We are called to be loving and do for others, but there is a time and place for everything. 

I sure hope this helps someone today. I know it helped me a ton!

I'm such a nerd!

People close to me will be happy to tell you that I'm being fully honest here. I'm a nerd. I admit it. 

I am a fan of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. 

This means I like all of The Lord of the Rings books and movies, as well as The Chronicles of Narnia books and movies. I can't help it.

Today, I watched The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian again. I haven't seen it in awhile.

A few things really jumped out at me. If you've never seen these movies, and aren't afraid of becoming a nerd, I recommend them. I like the Narnia movies more because I really can see the way Lewis ties God into it.

In Prince Caspian, to begin with, only Lucy, the youngest can see Aslan, the great lion who Lewis uses to represent Jesus. This reminded me that having faith like a child is what God wants from us. Sometimes children see and feel things we adults just can't.

The others, Lucy's siblings, did not believe her and questioned why he wouldn't show himself to them. She said, "Maybe you weren't looking."

Throughout the movie Aslan is leading Lucy and wants her to follow him. Her siblings take matters into their own hands and cause a lot of trouble.

Don't we do that too? God has a plan and wants us to follow Him, but we take our own path sometimes. We get into trouble, and luckily, He is always there with grace and mercy to get us out of it. God really is good all of the time.

How to handle conflict

Life is full of conflict. All we have to do is be born and we will face it at some       time in our lives.

I have hurt people I deeply care about on accident before. It hurts me to see         them hurt. Honestly, I could never hurt someone on purpose. It is just not       in my nature to. 

Sometimes, we are the person who got hurt. Holding on to that pain and not         talking to the person about what happened is a bad idea. It will cause           your relationship to suffer greatly. That's why we need to communicate.

My Pastor's message Sunday was on conflict and how Jesus told us to               handle people in Matthew 18: 15-17.

Matthew 18: 15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

When someone hurts you, this is a great way to handle it. 
(Notice I said, WHEN, not IF.)

A.    Describe what happened: Example: “You were on your phone when I was talking to you.”

B. Explain how it hurt: “ It made me feel like I am not important to you because you weren't listening to what I was saying.”

C.    Potential consequences: “If this keeps happening we will have a big distance between us.”

D.    Ask for change: “Next time we are talking, would you mind leaving your phone in the other room?”

There really are times in our lives when we do things that hurt people we care about. If we handle it correctly, we can keep the relationship in a good place. If handled incorrectly, we could cause division.

I am quick to apologize and make changes. I do not enjoy hurting people that I care about. I am a very loving, caring, compassionate person. So, just the fact of knowing I caused someone pain breaks my heart. 

I hope you are able to use this method of handling conflict. It is a very good way to deal with things.

One important point I would like to show you is in Matthew 18:17, where it says that after you follow all of the steps, and if they do not work, treat that person as a pagan or tax collector... remember this. We are quick to assume that Jesus meant to shun that person and never speak to them again. That's the total opposite of what He wants us to do. Jesus wants us to keep trying to win over that person. He doesn't want us to give up on them. 

Is there someone you need to talk to? Do it today!

What makes up a good parent?

I watched a movie last night that really got me thinking. It was called "Chasing Mavericks". It is a true story about a surfer named Jay Moriarity. Around 8 years old, his dad left him and his mom. He almost drowned in the ocean, but was saved by a surfer who took him under his wing. This man became the father Jay didn't have. They loved each other like son and father.

Two years ago, God brought an 18 year old girl into my life. I love her like a daughter. I tell people she is my adopted daughter, because that is exactly how I feel about her. 

How can a person feel parent like towards a child they met late in life and didn't give birth to?

How can people have children, their own flesh and blood, but not be a part of their lives?

What makes up a good parent?

Do you have to be a compassionate person?
Are there special genes in your body that make you a good parent?

What about your experiences growing up? I am sure somehow that plays a role. Maybe you had a bad childhood, so you vow to be nothing like your parents. Maybe you had a great childhood and want to be exactly like your parents. Either way, we make decisions based on our past, don't we?

God calls us His children. When we give our lives to Him, we are "adopted" into His family. Maybe that's why we are able to love someone who isn't our child? 

I can tell you one thing. I think children need discipline and a caring parent. It is hard being a single parent because you do not have help and have to do it all. I want my children to obey me, but at the same time, I want them to know I will always be there for them and I care about their well being very much. 

As a parent, I think if we love our children like God loves us, then we can not go wrong. He is the perfect parent. I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father and the blessings He has given me. Aren't you?

I am a guest blogger today!

A lady whom I admire and look up to allowed me the chance to guest post on her blog today. She gave me a topic that I think it relevant and worthy of the time it took me to write and research. I hope you will enjoy it, but take a few minutes to enjoy her posts. She is a gifted writer. I enjoy her teaching. I've learned a lot under her.

Laurel Griffith's blog

Don't Beat Yourself Up Over Your Past!

Some days, I need to take my own advice! I have days where I do beat myself up over the past. I feel like a failure sometimes and like I have let down many people, but especially my children. I saw this picture on a friend's Facebook page and thought about how true it is.

As with any situation, you can be the cause of it, or you could have had it done to you. Either way, the past is the past and needs to be let go. Someone close to me reminded me of that the other night. We can not change our past.

Our past does not determine our future. If you count your past mistakes and sit around reminding yourself of things, you will ruin your future. But your future does not have to be ruined just because you have a past.

Jeremiah 29: 11 says that God has a plan for our lives. It is not a plan to harm us, but to prosper us. God never wants us to hurt. He does not rejoice in our pain. 

We never know what the future holds. I can tell you one thing, God is good. He loves us so much and He wants us to have a good life. Do not let your past determine your future. 

From my heart, to parents

I have only been a parent now for 16 1/2 years. I would consider myself to be a decent mom. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But I do try. I try very hard. 

This new season in my life of being a single mom is challenging. 

I think children need a parent, not a friend. Well, maybe at 40, it is ok for my mom to be my friend.... but when we are younger, we need parents.

I believe in the 5 Love Languages. Sure, it could be a "fad" or whatever, but if you read the book you realize there is truth to it. 
Those languages are:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving gifts
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch

Everyone feels love differently. Therefore, everyone HEARS that love differently. Even children.

My three children are all different. My oldest, Blake, I think words of affirmation make him feel loved. He writes too, and when I read what he wrote and tell him how awesome it is, that makes him feel loved. My middle son, Andrew, needs quality time. He wants to tell you all about the Xbox gaming guys he follows and what they are up to. My daughter, Julie, needs physical touch. She will walk up to you with her arms open for a hug. 

Usually, we do the language that we feel love from. Therefore, some people in our life might not get it because they don't hear love the same way we do.

If your children are old enough, there is an online test they can take at  5 Love Languages website. This author, Gary Chapman, even has books on children and teenagers you can read. If your child or children are younger, just pay attention to what they do. Do they hug you a lot and tell you they love you? Do they like to sit and talk to you a lot? You can figure out their love language and start doing what they need to feel loved.

Our children need food and a roof over their head, but they need to feel loved too. 
Do whatever it takes! This world is so against our kids. It wants them to use drugs, live carelessly and kill themselves. That's not God's plan. Feeling loved and cared about is a great way to help them stay on track in life. I am so very thankful for my children. They are a blessing to me.

Have you ever felt like God is up to something?

I have been talking about my Pastor's messages, and he is talking about our calling. I know what mine is, at least I feel like I know. 

Then, I am asked to volunteer at two things that I will be really good at. Two things that I seem "fit" for. So, I am like, "What's up God?" 

If you are my friend on Facebook, you have seen that I posted about needing another part time job. I really do. I am only keeping things afloat by the generosity of my ex husband. I have been trying since last November to find a job. (I have one job that I really enjoy, but it is not every weekend. I need a weekly pay check, and hopefully will be able to keep the other job for extra money.)

I do not believe that God has any magic formulas. I do not need to jump through any hoops, say a certain prayer, hop on one foot for an hour, etc etc to receive blessings from Him. God does not work that way.

You will have some people ask you, (imagine the church lady voice) "Well, now, are you tithing 10%?" or "Are you attending church every time the doors are open?" "Are you praying every day?" "Do you read your Bible every day?"

While those things are not BAD in and of themselves, they do not get God's attention any more than if they are not done. God is NOT performanced based. He love us. Period. No if's, ands, or buts about it. 

NOTHING we do will cause God to love us any less.
NOTHING we do will cause God to love us any more.
Write that down.

It is funny to me how God works sometimes. He can be mysterious and awesome, or just right in your face with something. I know that He has my best interest at heart. He knows my needs. He is my provider. 

When He reveals to me this plan He is weaving for me. I will let you know. I'm excited to see what it is!

When God doesn't make sense!

My Pastor's definition of faith is this: "Assumable trustworthiness." Faith is remaining hopeful long after something you were promised should have happened.

He talked about Abraham on Sunday. When God told Abraham to sacrifice his son, Abraham did not understand, but was willing to do it because he trusted God. 

When I felt like God told me to home school my children, I laughed at first. It did not make sense to me. I had always said those typical answers, "I'm not smart enough." "I am not organized enough." I felt this tug on my heart to take them out of public school, and I prayed a long time about it. The feeling never went away. So, by faith, I pulled my children out of public school to home school. 

Last week, I gave you my Pastor's message on finding your calling. How do you cultivate that calling?

1. Faith is developed through resistance. You have to have faith when God calls you to do something. And whatever He calls you to do will be bigger than you!

2.Faith is built when it's moved into action. You can't sit there and just hope something will happen. Start moving and God will meet you. He doesn't always show or tell us the full story, we couldn't handle it.

God isn't looking for us to be successful. He is looking for us to be faithful. Even when He asks or tells us to do something that does not make sense. 

Are you a negative person? If so, STOP!

I realize that life does not always work out like we think it should. Our dreams can get shattered, bad things happen to good people, etc. But being negative does not help anything. Especially if you are so negative that you are squashing other people's hopes and dreams.

You should also be careful not to do this to yourself! I know I struggle with negative self talk sometimes. The battle really is in our minds, you know?

You can develop and maintain a positive attitude by trying these three things:

1. Define your environment. We are either a thermostat or thermometer.  Gauge the temperature of the room. If there are negative people, leave. Some negative people gave up on their own dreams, that's why they don't like to see others succeed.

2. Guard your mind. Philippians 4:8 says for us to think on GOOD things. True, noble, and right things will help you stay positive. Focus on God, keep your eyes on Him. If He has called you to do something, He will help you. He will never leave you.

3. Watch your words. Encourage others and let them encourage you. Words are so powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says there is life and death in the tongue. You can lift someone up with your words or tear them down. We are called to lift others up. In California, one small cigarette burned over 100,000 acres of land. Homes, businesses, and people's lives were destroyed. One small negative word from someone can do the same.

Being a Christian does not give a "Never have any problems, your life will all be rainbows and candy." However, being a Christian does give you a loving Heavenly Father who is always here for you. It also can give you a church family and a place to call home if you open your heart and let people in. Just be careful. Dial out the negative people in your life. Do not give them as much influence over you. 

Be positive in any and all situation. Look for the good. There is some there. Even if it's small. I just read a blog post about a woman who lost her two sons and home, in the tornadoes in Arkansas on Sunday. She is in the hospital with broken legs and has lost so much, but she is positive. She is not letting the negative of her situation bring her down. She said that her boys had fulfilled their purpose here on earth, that's why they got to go to heaven already. WOW! That's a positive way to look at a terrible, horrible, awful situation!

So what about you? Will you stop being negative and look for the good? Please do!

What is your calling?

I feel like God blessed me with a gift for writing. It has always come naturally and easy for me. In high school and college, I never had to make those out lines for essays. For some reason, words just flow for me. I am very thankful for this gift, but for the longest time, I never knew what I was supposed to do with it. I went to college for journalism, but did not finish because our teacher left. Years later, when I tried to go back, it did not work out for me. That has not stopped my love for writing. Once I began this blog, I figured out what God wanted to use this gift for. I believe He wants me to help people get to know the real God. 

How do you define your calling?
1. Passion - what matters to you? Whatever your misery is, that is where your ministry comes out of.

2. What are your gifts? What do you do best?

3. Contributions- how do you make the world a better place?

Once you figure this out, be careful of the negative people. The negative people in your life might have already given up on their God given dream, so they do not understand why you are still going for your's. Also, do your best to develop and maintain a positive attitude.

Be encouraging to yourself and others. Do not squash people's hopes and dreams. (Even your own.) 

Remember, "If you aren't actively engaged in stepping out and doing what God has called you to do - you are merely existing." ~ Jason Spears

So, what will you do with what has been given to you? Comment, let me know your passions and gifts.